ONE HOUR AT A TIME, ONE DAY AT A TIME

It has been a long day. Jacob is still septic. He does have pneumonia confirmed after numerous x-rays. Nothing back from the blood cultures yet indicating a blood infection.
The first part of the day we didn't see any improvements, but he was also not getting worse. Late afternoon, Jacob started to seize again. His temperature was elevated again, and his blood pressure was all over the place. It was decided to put in an arterial line to monitor his blood pressure real-time. I am not sure what it's called, but they also inserted something so they can get a rectal temperature at all times. He is going in and out of fevers.
Sarah visited Jacob tonight. It was scary for her to see all the tubes, lines and big machines surrounding him. She simply hates to wear the gown and mask, but did it for a short while as she was holding Jacob's cold little hand and putting his stuffed animals around his head. I talked to a child life specialist today, and she has invited Sarah to her play room on Thursday to hopefully process some of the big feelings and impressions she is having right now as well.
I popped the big question during the round this morning, asking if they think Jacob will survive. They told me they are concerned, but that they think he will pull through. That made me finally go to sleep this morning. We then had a talk with Jacob's primary care physician, and she is not as committed to that outcome. She is very concerned about his neurological status prohibiting him from being safe without the ventilator. She simply told us that we know the seriousness of Jacob's illness this time, and we simply have to take an hour at a time, a day at a time. It is a surreal feeling. At times the truth about Jacob fighting for his life is so real and hits us very hard, and other times you have the energy to have a chat about something simple in your life or yet again cancelling one of Jacob's appointments. Maybe it's a way to survive yourself.
My dad is coming from Norway on Thursday, which is a relief. He will help us with the kids, and anything else we need. When he leaves end of the month, Joakim's dad and step mom will come.
THANK YOU all for your support - for your emails, phone calls, visits, guest book entries and prayers. I know so many of you have volunteered to take Sarah as well. If we don't take you up on it right away, please know that we will do it in time. We're just not that good about keeping up with everyone right now. The hours somewhat get lost throughout the day with us not really knowing how it happens, but we deeply care about the enormous support our little guy has. Somehow I think he feels it as he is fighting from his bed tonight. He has for the first time today opened his eyes, only to watch High School Musical 3 with his sister. We all have our priorities.
Big thanks, Maria.