Tuesday, December 7, 2010


We're sleep deprived, we're worried about the seizures that won't give in. We're reliving this time last year when Jacob was really, really sick. Tomorrow, December 8th, was the day we thought we would loose him once and for all last year.
Tonight, my heart feel a bit lighter. Nothing has changed, but I sort of realized that the worries won't help us to enjoy each day, and it doesn't help you to sleep.
I asked Dr. C flat out today, if she thought all the meds would kill Jacob one day. Without blinking or a second of hesitation, she said: "no, the meds won't kill him. I am afraid that he will one day have a seizure that we won't be able to stop. Jacob has a turbo liver. He processes tons of meds, and then spits them right out again. That Jacob doesn't have a liver problem is a miracle. Jacob is healthy with the exception of his brain and respiratory status - his heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, and pancreas are fine. So, let's continue fighting those nasty seizures".
This made my heart lighter. In the middle of a seizing brain, I realize all the things I should be thankful for. And we will never know when that big nasty seizure will come our way, so the only thing I can do is to keep on fighting, fighting one seizure at a time.
This is when a doctor is not only a doctor anymore. This is when a doctor becomes your partner and friend as part of fighting for your child. The one person that texts me every morning to see how Jacob's night was.
Tonight, I am thankful for Jacob's turbo liver and for the confidence I saw in Sarah tonight as she was so proud of being selected for the school's reading club as well as doing an awesome job on her heritage project. Everyone in her class got to enjoy her 100 years old doll house today! Her smile just wouldn't fade.
To a seizure free night, and yes, to that turbo liver of our little fighter.
Love, Maria.

No comments:

Post a Comment