Sunday, January 16, 2011

WHAT A YEAR CAN DO

It's amazing what time can do, and what a year can do. Our situation hasn't changed, and we have our first hospital stay for the year behind us. We are home again, and doing our first course of IV antibiotics for the winter.
At the same time, we as a family have grown so much this past year through the happy, and yes, the harder moments as well. We are so much more comfortable with where we are right now than a year ago.
It was hard to not bring Jacob outside for 5 months last winter. This year, we went into the winter months with that mind set. Jacob's safety and health come first. We also have wonderful support of two nurses that makes it possible for us to get out of the house from time to time when Jacob can't. There is a high level of trust there.
Sarah has come so far in the past year. She is able to express things at a completely different level than a year ago. This time last year, Sarah would run away and hide if we talked about Jacob's health and that we didn't know if he was going to make it. Now, she is saving up her money for a cure for her brother.
The other day, Sarah asked in the car if she will get a dog the day Jacob dies. It was not an emotional question for her, simply a question if that is how it works. To give some background, one of her friends lost her dog before Christmas, and she is now getting a puppy. Sarah was simply wondering if the same deal applies to brothers. We talked about how you can't simply replace a human being, but that Jacob will always stay with us in our hearts, and that we're all hoping that he will stay with us for as long as he can. It was one of those moments where you know we will be ok no matter what. Dog or no dog.
I am going in to the year with a positive mind set, knowing that I might have become a little bit better at enjoying each day, and worry less about the future.
Much love,
Maria.

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