Friday, March 13, 2015


If you have been reading Jacob's blog for the last couple of years, you know of Jacob's best friends Selina and Leandra. I was tonight searching for the blog post about Selina and Leandra coming over to play with Jacob for the first time. I searched for the blog post in vain, but when I searched for the name "Selina" I got 8 (!) pages of hits on Jacob's blog. It is never about quantity in Jacob's life, it's always about quality of life, and every single moment with Selina and Leandra were precious special moments.

These two girls proved to me that no special needs will stop friendships where friendships are supposed to happen. I remember thinking that Selina would be more interested in Sarah's barbies than playing with Jacob, and I was so wrong. She found a way to play with Sarah's barbies with Jacob by having Jacob pick between two barbie outfits using his eye gaze and her dressing each barbie based on Jacob's liking. They did this for hours...I think Jacob surprised Selina that first time too. Selina hadn't realized that Jacob always uses a wheelchair, not just in school. After she played with Jacob, all her dolls were in wheelchairs for days, processing the fact that her friend needed a wheelchair wherever he goes.

Selina and Alyssa never got enough of Jacob when they went to preschool Bal Swan together. Jacob was the perfect friend, always ready for a dress up party or any game. Jacob went camping with the girls, Jacob was a cowboy, Jacob was a dragon - whatever the dress up party of the day was. When Jacob had broken his arm, Selina's bear also had a broken arm.

Over the years, Selina and Leandra have made Jacob's life so special by going to the zoo, hanging at the pool, going for bike rides, going for walks, endless play dates in our home when Jacob wasn't able to leave the house, endless craft days. Selina made sure Jacob never missed a pumpkin patch. She dragged Jacob through endless corn mazes stroller and all...They have shared their birthdays and holidays from Valentine's Day to Christmas.

When Jacob had extended hospital stays, I could count on Selina and Leandra to visit him. I will never forget the time the girls and Jacob filled his bed with paint as the EEG camera was recording Jacob's brain! What a very special day.

And in the middle of Jacob finding true friendship, I found a soul sister in the girls' mom. Nadia has a very big heart with strong ethics. At the same time, a laugh or a "sh*t" is never far from her which makes her wonderful to be around. She is always true to herself and others and what she believes in. We found common values by both being from Europe, and at the same time finding a home in the US. We both love coffee, and we believe strongly that coffee makes people happier and unstoppable!

Tonight, I am sad. I am sad to see Nadia and her girls leave. I am sad because I will miss them so very much. The sadness is also so raw because I just don't know if Jacob will ever find this kind of friendship again. I hope time will prove me wrong, but it's just not as easy to make friends when you're Jacob and you're home schooled for months of the year. In the middle of sadness, I do know that this is the right decision for Nadia and her family, and how lucky are we to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard? Winnie the Pooh is so wise.

Love, Maria.

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