Friday, December 18, 2009


Tonight, I am writing about Jacob's biggest love, his big sister Sarah. Her winter break is starting, and her god mother and aunt Jenny is in town. She is eagerly waiting for her brother to come home on Monday, but knows deep in her heart that she is not going to believe it until he's actually showing up at her door step. The plan has changed too many times. She is also happy that she gets to see him for a 4th time in 2 months' time this weekend. She will spend Sunday with him.
Sarah is that mature, smart, caring, sensitive little girl, who is doing so well in so many areas of her life. But she is only 7. She has grown up fairly fast having a sick brother in her home. Having to make many sacrifices most kids never have to do. Being worried when she is told over the speaker in school that she will have to go home with a friend instead of her mom. The worry that comes as a shadow over her face as she hears the news. Thinking that something bigger has happened than her mom simply being stuck in a meeting or traffic. Worry that her world once again will be shaken. "Maybe my mom won't come home for several nights again due to my brother being more sick than he usually is?"
Sarah being more quiet than her usual self. Sarah not feeling she has as many words for her world around her as she is worrying inside what is happening to her family. Not being able to truly put the pieces together. Feeling that the only secure place is in bed with her mom or dad at night. Feeling deprived from not being able to cuddle with her brother morning, afternoon, and evening.
We're starting to include Sarah on our journey. Talking about what it is today. Where we are today as a family, taking one day at a time. Taking baby steps as our future is uncertain. Giving Sarah the choice to be part of it, and having the information she so needs. Making sense of the world that doesn't make sense. Knowing that she is so loved despite her so many times having to take the set back to her brother's illness.
I am so many times thinking about Jacob's PT. She is a very sincere loving person who grew up with her brother having special needs. It formed her life, her profession, and her compassion for life and us. I am looking at her, and hoping that Sarah will take that special path in life. That she will learn core values in life that can't be taught, but have to be lived and learned. The things that truly matters in life, and makes that fine person you meet here and there as you walk through life.
This is to Sarah. Our beautiful loving girl that we all love so much. Hoping to have us all under the same roof by Monday evening.
And a note on Jacob. He's stable. He has seizures, but not to the point that we can't manage them at home. We feel as ready as we possibly can be to go home. To be home in time for Christmas.
Love, Maria.

No comments:

Post a Comment