Saturday, July 31, 2010


I am sitting on the couch with Joakim listening to Grieg, and reflecting over life. It's one of those days that can't go by unmarked. One of those days that will stay in our memories for a long time, maybe a life time.
It was dear little Samantha's memorial service this morning. I woke up with an upset stomach and heart burn, and could only imagine how Heather and Bart felt this morning as they woke up. My thoughts went out to them as we got ready for the day.
Sarah was off to Water World (once again!) for a birthday party with one of her best friends. She was happy despite this last week having been rough on her. She can't sleep in her own bed after Samantha passed away. She knows that exactly this can happen to her brother, and it scares her very much. As we saw Dr. C. and Dr. E yesterday, they were both talking about Samantha. Sarah put her hands to her ears to simply shut out the world and the words she didn't want to hear. The things that are too big for a 7-year old to completely take in and process.
Jacob was going to stay put with our old nanny. Despite Jacob having a bit of a rough morning, we felt completely comfortable to leave Jacob with Jen as we took off to Loveland.
The memorial service was filled with tears, but also so beautiful. This was a celebration of a life full of love and kisses. This was also a life of illness and hospital stays, but it couldn't take away the impact a 4-year old little girl can make on the world despite never speaking a single word. She kept us all honest, and made us realize that nothing matters more than seizing the day.
The service was followed by an outdoor pic-nic full of people, loads of food, and drinks. In the middle of tears and hugs, there was a true joy for Samantha and her life. It was a celebration of her life.
When we came home in the afternoon, I knew I had a laundry list of things to take care of preparing for our trip to Breckenridge tomorrow morning. Packing for Jacob is no little task, and you simply can't forget certain things or you're going to have to turn around and get that medicine or equipment you forgot.
But who could plan for a trip after today? Joakim and I were both exhausted. Physically and mentally tired. The only thing that felt right was to put Jacob on our bed, and have Joakim and I lay next to him, and cuddle and kiss him until his cheeks were as wet as his little mouth.
The bags are mostly packed tonight. We're venturing out on another trip to the mountains as a family this summer. Sarah and I leave tomorrow morning for some mom-daughter alone time. On Tuesday, Jacob and Joakim will join us for a couple of days. We're very much looking forward to it, and we will once again seize the day.
Love, Maria.

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