A new year. 365 days passed once again. We celebrated New Year’s Eve with friends once again. We have celebrated with the same friends for the last 7 years, and it was a really nice feeling to think back on the past years’ celebrations. Not always remembering what year we did what or when a certain episode happened. It would be so easy to simply cancel plans like this, since an emergency can pop up any time. But every time we enjoy in day-to-day pleasures, it sort of completes our lives. We get a feeling of finding something normal in maybe not such a normal life.
When I think back on 2010 that is one thing that has stuck with me. We all have one life, and we decide what we want to do with it. Due to our ups and downs, I sometimes feel a happiness that I just didn’t know before. It can be as simple as Jacob having a good day, and we’re singing a bit louder together! It might be my girl coming towards my car after school with a big smile. There are many things that I would worry about in the past that simply have no place in my mind or heart. I have learned to love, and to focus on life itself. I actually feel happier in my skin today than when my life was simpler and with fewer worries. There is perspective.
2010 is also the year I feared to loose Jacob as you all know. I have spent many thoughts about how it would happen, and how it would be, and how we would survive. Death did touch us this year through Jacob’s “twin” Samantha, and tonight another dear boy Griffin passed away due to brain cancer. My heart feels for both families very much.
One thing that I have learned from my friend Heather is that you only have one life, and you decide your outlook on it. It doesn’t mean that you will not let grief be part of it, but you can still cherish things as you go through the darkest times of your life. She can still find joy and laughter. It gives me strength to see that love of life itself as well as for your child.
I am not much for new year’s resolutions, but if you do have something you don’t like in your life, fix it. You only have one life, and you’re in charge.
Happy 2011!
Love, Maria.
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