Monday, January 23, 2012


Yesterday night, it was my turn to go to the ER. I have probably more ER visits under my belt than the average person, but not when it comes to myself. It is always as Jacob's mom.

I had been struggling with this cold for a good week. My inhaler was coming with me wherever I went, since I was wheezing at times. It still didn't stop me from going on with everything in my life. Business as usual.

After a great sushi dinner in Boulder last night, I did realize that my breathing was officially wheezy, and that my asthma was back. I realized after an extra dose of Albuterol that it actually didn't do anything for me. I was still thinking that maybe sleep was what I needed. Well, there was definitely not any sleep in sight when you're catching your breathe all the time. Interestingly enough, the thinking that goes through my mind with Jacob was the same when it came to me. Could I wait til the morning to see the regular doc? What would I do if it got worse? Anything I could do to get it better? The answer was right there. I had no more meds I could take, and I couldn't breathe without coughing up a storm, and wondering where I would find oxygen for that next breathe. Yes, it is a bit scary...

Coming to the ER as the patient is a bit different than being "mom". I was so tired and just wanted to sleep. I was fascinated by all the "doing" to me without really telling me what they did. The IV line was simply: "we're going to poke you now". I have no idea what tests they were running, but it looked very similar to the amount of testing they do on Jacob, and it is a lot. The EKG was: " we need to put some stickies on you now, and it will only take seconds". No word of what the test was for as I was laying their half-naked. The pulse ox was described as: "I need to put a clip on your finger". It was just fascinating to me that no more information was provided. The only test that was crystal clear was the urine sample. Detailed instructions came with that test!

I must have been an easy patient after all, since it was clear that I struggled with asthma. I was put on steroids and got a breathing treatment with a variety of steroids. And it sure helped! I was given a bunch of different prescriptions that I was told to fill at the 24 hours Walhgreens to start overnight. In addition, I was prescribed 2 days of NO activity, which was described as no school, no work, no driving, no talking! I was told that this could easily turn into pneumonia in a few days, if I didn't start to take it easy.

I was thinking that doctors should do more of that - prescribing rest. We so simply want the quick fix, but reality is that someone like me needs a prescribed bed rest to take it seriously. Today, I did work (only from my bed, and no meetings or trainings), and I did talk. But I also spent a lot of time resting in my bed with Yogi teas in between breathing treatments and medications.

I did try to stay away from Jacob as much as I could, but it is hard. This would be a nasty virus for Jacob to get with his chronic respiratory issues.

I also realized how many times I kiss Jacob each day, since I caught myself several times wanting to kiss him, and had to stop myself. It is part of our way of communicating throughout the day. I realized how much energy it takes for each of Jacob's breathe, and how he does it with grace every single day. And I realized that it was good for momma to be on the other side, for a day or two, before she is needed back in business again.

Much love,


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