Friday, March 21, 2014


  • Your husband calls you in the car 5 minutes from home, and tells you to call 911. You should not wait to make that phone call until you get home.
  • You can't get good pulses on your child.
  • Your child is blue despite being on 5 liters of oxygen and bi-pap.
  • Your child seizes for 70 minutes straight despite being loaded on more meds than you thought was possible.
  • The ambulance crew wanting you to sit upfront with the driver rather than with your child (you still making sure you are not leaving your child's side).
  • Sirens on the whole way from Broomfield to Aurora. Fastest trip to Children's ever.
  • The ambulance crew starting IV fluids rather than waiting for the ED crew to access his medi-port to give fluids.
  • Your child being surrounded by 15+ people in the trauma unit, and people wanting to do 10 different things at the same time.
  • Dr. E rushing over from Clinic to make sure the ED crew is doing their job.
  • Dr. C paging the Neurology attending from Las Vegas before ED has a chance to do it.
  • Your child getting loaded with IV fluids and 3 different "big guns" IV antibiotics.
  • Surgery seeing your child in the ED for possible emergency surgery.
  • Beeping monitors that never stop.
  • Low blood pressures scaring everyone and their brother.
  • You repeating your story of what happened before you came in until you don't even know what happened at home versus in the hospital.
  • You realizing that hours and hours have gone by, and you have not once had a chance to look at a watch.
  • You realizing that you haven't had time to eat or drink or go to the bathroom for an insane amount of time.
  • You being told by Dr. E. to get Joakim to the ED asap, and find somebody to stay with Sarah. This is the second time we have been told those words by Dr. E. It means it is serious.
You are told your child has sepsis, but no one knows why. Dr. E. thinks it could be gut bacterial translocation. PICU is not sure just yet what to believe.

I know Jacob is not yet out of the woods, but he is stable. He is sleeping and his vitals look ok. I will end with a few words from his nurse Gemma: Jacob amazes me every day. I can't believe how much strength is packed into that 67 pounds body. It's immense, and I can never wrap my head around it. He is an incredible human being and has been put here to teach everyone he meets what the true meaning of strength is.

I needed those words tonight. To strength.

Love, Maria.


  1. Prayers are going up for Jacob and all of you!

  2. Gemma's words ring so true! He is such an amazing little person with so much strength and the strength of his family is also quite extrardinary...stay strong Jacob!!!

    1. Betsy, thank you so very much. We miss you tons! Love, Maria.

  3. Thinking of you and your family and sending you strength!

  4. Had to read Gemma's words again. So true. We are all whimps compared to Jacob!

    1. I know...that is what I always have to tell myself when I think things hard. There is always someone fighting a little bit harder, and being a little bit stronger. Take care my friend.