Your room. So full of memories. The four corner of your room is filled with you. You always started and ended your day here. My favorite part of the day was to get you ready after your morning bath. We talked, cuddled, listened to music, and got you ready for the day. I loved rubbing your back, and picking out your outfit for the day. I loved your sighs as you were feeling pampered. I had our morning routine down to a t. I loved that time of the day.
I also loved putting you to bed I loved getting you settled for the night and seeing you drift off to dreamland. Since late summer we have slowly transformed your room. It has been little by little. It was never on a schedule. Sometimes I just added a little picture or a little personal gift from someone. Baby steps.
The one thing I had the hardest to part with was your bed. It was so full of memories. I think I needed a sign that it was time for me to let go of your not so pretty brownish hospital bed. My friend texted me a picture of a set of bookshelves that would fit perfectly in your room. I knew I couldn't buy the bookshelves in the store any longer, and it was the sign I needed. In order to fit them in your room, the bed had to find a new home. I was happy I wasn't home when the bed left your room, but I knew I was ready.
Over the last couple of weeks and months, your room has transformed into a sanctuary. A place where I can sit with a cup of coffee, read the paper or a book, and reflect on you. There are still little things here and there I want to change, but it's pretty much my own little sanctuary.
Do you want to take a look?
Your room
Your urn.
Some of your favorite school work and art projects for display.
There is always a place to sit down and relax.
There are lots of books and pictures.
Your closet has become a special place of memories.
Some of your favorite toys and school bag.
More of your favorite things in life.
I love this picture of you.
This has become Sarah's spot in your closet. She sometimes does her homework on your bean bag.
View from your closet.
One of my favorite pieces in your room from dear Brittany. She added some of your favorite quotes you used to tell us.
Hanging in your hideout at night.
It's a process. It's a journey. And I am happy I have found my own little sacred place full of memories of you.
Sweet Jacob, I love you to the moon and back,
mom.
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