This is what is needed to have me slow down. An ugly boot. Exercise has been my go to for stress relief. It's my way to take care of myself when I have to give of myself all hours of the day. I have felt my left foot on most runs since March. The pain disappears as I get off the treadmill or trail. I go on with my day. I actually forget about the pain until I am running again. Yesterday was different. The pain didn't go away. I was limping and in pain. After taking care of Jacob non stop for several hours at night, my foot was killing me. I knew something was wrong. After a little research on the Internet, I was pretty sure I had a stress fracture.
The stress fracture got confirmed today by the doctor. Luckily it's a mild fracture. When the doctor heard about my busy life and carrying my 65 pounds boy throughout the day, the boot was a fact. I negotiated some exercise to keep my sanity. I am allowed to swim and try biking if it doesn't hurt, no running!
It's funny what busyness can do to your life. You miss the little moments right in front of you. Tomorrow Jacob and I need to simply stay home. It will be hard for us to even move from floor to floor with this boot. And I am sincerely looking forward to it. Instead of trying to be busy, we are going to slow down. We're going to read, we're going to cuddle, and we're going to be. That sounds pretty perfect to me.
Love,
Maria.
Friday, July 24, 2015
Sunday, July 5, 2015
FREEDOM!
As Jacob is getting older and bigger, we now seem to have yearly projects to modify something in our home so it can accommodate Jacob's needs. Last summer, we noticed that it was harder and harder to get Jacob out in our backyard. The wheel chair hardly fit through the door, and then we had two stairs right outside the door. There was also hardly no space for Jacob's legs sitting at the table and he often bumped his toes into the patio furniture. If we went out in the backyard for a quick dinner, Jacob often ended up sitting in the door due to it being a "project" to get Jacob out. It just didn't sit right with any of us that Jacob couldn't join us for dinner at the table.
Right after the holidays, I started collecting bids for making our backyard patio accessible for Jacob. We found out that Jacob's Medicaid waiver would be able to help with modifying the door and to get Jacob out to the patio. Anything helps, so we decided to go that route even if the majority of the cost would fall on us. There were many times this spring I wanted to give up on involving Jacob's Medicaid waiver, since it was so much back and forth between the agency managing Jacob's waiver and the different contractors. The bids had to match perfectly, and that took months to accomplish. The whole process took 5-6 months with many phone calls and emails involved. As the agency submitted the bids to the State, the State only took 24 hours to approve the work, so I guess they did something right.
Last week, we got to see the results. I have already in the last week taken Jacob out in the backyard for his afternoon feeds and dinners and it's SO easy! I simply roll his chair out, and voila! Freedom for our boy who always want to go somewhere and loves the outside.
Happy summer!
Love, Maria.
Right after the holidays, I started collecting bids for making our backyard patio accessible for Jacob. We found out that Jacob's Medicaid waiver would be able to help with modifying the door and to get Jacob out to the patio. Anything helps, so we decided to go that route even if the majority of the cost would fall on us. There were many times this spring I wanted to give up on involving Jacob's Medicaid waiver, since it was so much back and forth between the agency managing Jacob's waiver and the different contractors. The bids had to match perfectly, and that took months to accomplish. The whole process took 5-6 months with many phone calls and emails involved. As the agency submitted the bids to the State, the State only took 24 hours to approve the work, so I guess they did something right.
Last week, we got to see the results. I have already in the last week taken Jacob out in the backyard for his afternoon feeds and dinners and it's SO easy! I simply roll his chair out, and voila! Freedom for our boy who always want to go somewhere and loves the outside.
Yesterday we had a BBQ for 4th of July, and we all could enjoy it together on our deck! Jacob was feeling better from the cold he had struggled with earlier this week, and decided to be a chatter box! I don't think our friends had heard him ever talk this much. It was fun to see Jacob participate.
Beautiful family and friends.
Sarah is getting really good at making Swedish fruit cakes.
Jacob wishing everyone a happy 4th!
Happy summer!
Love, Maria.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
VISITORS IN TOWN
It's me. I haven't updated the blog for a long time. We have had a busy summer so far. Every week, somebody has been traveling and I have been going to school. Sarah has been keeping herself busy with volleyball. This past week, we had family visiting from Sweden. My dad's cousin's daughter Cajsa came to visit us for the 5th time. This time she came without her parents, and instead she brought her boyfriend Oliver.
I am so happy when family comes to see us, since I can't travel to see them. I got to show off what I can do with my talker. I even beat Cajsa in my favorite game Bumper cars. They were both so impressed! I also got to take them to the pool, my favorite place to be in the summer.
Mom loves this picture of Cajsa and I dancing at a restaurant in Boulder. We were both a bit younger then...The picture was taken about six to seven years ago.
We have a new favorite photo hanging out at the pool together:
This week, we are slowing down our pace. No camps for Sarah, and no school for me. We're looking forward to celebrate the 4th of July holiday with friends and I will participate in the neighborhood bike parade once again. I finally have my summer bucket list ready to go. My top four things to do this summer are swimming, going to the movies (the Minion movie), see animals and going to the library.
I hope you're all enjoying your summer! Til next.
Love, Jacob.
I am so happy when family comes to see us, since I can't travel to see them. I got to show off what I can do with my talker. I even beat Cajsa in my favorite game Bumper cars. They were both so impressed! I also got to take them to the pool, my favorite place to be in the summer.
Sarah got them hooked on her favorite TV show "Dance moms".
Mom loves this picture of Cajsa and I dancing at a restaurant in Boulder. We were both a bit younger then...The picture was taken about six to seven years ago.
We have a new favorite photo hanging out at the pool together:
This week, we are slowing down our pace. No camps for Sarah, and no school for me. We're looking forward to celebrate the 4th of July holiday with friends and I will participate in the neighborhood bike parade once again. I finally have my summer bucket list ready to go. My top four things to do this summer are swimming, going to the movies (the Minion movie), see animals and going to the library.
I hope you're all enjoying your summer! Til next.
Love, Jacob.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND
As your kids are settling in to a lazy relaxing summer
routine, Jacob is going back to school. This is the third year Jacob attends
ESY (extended school year). Jacob’s principal suggested a few years back that
we change Jacob’s school year after recognizing how many school days Jacob
misses during the cold winter months due to illness. He is now in school from
mid-April thru end of October (or longer if he is not sick). From November thru
mid-April, he is receiving school services out of our home to avoid all bugs
going around during the winter. This has worked out really well for our boy.
This year we’re trying something new. Jacob is taking the
school bus to and from school for the first time in his life! I have had a hard
time seeing our boy on a school bus full of kids. What I didn’t know is that
Jacob qualifies for his own private school bus from door to door. Jacob is
getting picked up right outside our home, and rides the bus with his nurse and
bus para. A bus para was added due to our nurse needing an extra set of hands
in case any of Jacob’s emergency protocols would have to be implemented in
route. An extra fan was installed in the bus to keep the bus cool in addition
to the air condition close to the driver. I am just in awe with the support
from our school district. The whole bus team came to meet Jacob before his
first ride, and we worked out all the little details to get him safely from
home to school.
Look how big our boy looks!
I had to advocate for months for Jacob to get his home
school teacher and summer teacher of two years this summer again. The school
district was set to have Jacob in one specific classroom with another teacher,
but after many emails and phone calls from Jacob’s home school teacher and I,
Jacob was placed in Mrs. Pries classroom for one more summer! Did I say our
whole family loves Mrs. Pries? There is no one person Jacob talks as much to as
her. She knows that perfect balance between letting Jacob talk about himself
and answer her specific questions. She has a way of negotiation with Jacob that
is just beautiful to watch.
Jacob’s nurse has only good things to report from Jacob’s
first weeks of school. There are only 3-5 students in Jacob’s classroom. The students are from his school, so they all know each other. One kid made
sure to tell Jacob what a great kid he is, and if he knew he had once been in
his mom’s womb? There is plenty of support in addition to Mrs. Pries, so plenty
of time for individual learning. The classroom has an assisted technology
person in the room. She’s making sure Jacob has everything he needs to
successfully communicate. She even brought in these three switch activated
Minions for Jacob to play with. Jacob can activate them with the help of his
foot hitting his switch. In the end, the Minions had to leave the room in order
to give room for some learning. For you who know me know that I don’t care
a bit what Jacob learns in school. I just want him to live, do what he wants,
and be with kids his age. If he wants to play with Minions all day, fine by me!
We are off to a great summer!
Love, Maria.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
TO MIRACLES
One more national mitochondrial disease conference has come
and passed. Every conference brings something special, something new, something
familiar, and lots of new energy, hope, emotions and love. There are a few more
clinical trials to report results from every year. Gradual steps towards a cure.
Like with most things in life, it’s the people who make a
difference. For every year we go, we know more and more familiar faces. Every
year we make new friends. We also brought our own beautiful group from
Colorado.
Judi, Heather & myself.
Running Miracles for Mito is a fluid process. The work is
part of each day in one shape or form. There are moments where I am wondering
how we can do it all and at the same time caring for a very medically complex
Mito child. The last couple of days confirm
we’re doing something really great. Something many people around the country
are trying to do. The fact that we’re
the only support group in the country represented at the national level must
mean we’re doing something right. The fact that NIH and NAMDC are both telling
us that if each Mito Clinic had the support we give our families and Clinic, we
would be so much further in terms of research and clinical work makes it all
worth it. By the end of the day, it’s never ever recognition that is the
driver. The simple truth is that this is what we do. It’s hard to imagine life
without Miracles for Mito.
This year's exhibitors
Our Miracles for Mito booth was really busy this year. We
ran out of chocolate and candy on the first day. We wish we would have brought
our t-shirts because they would have all been gone. There is always that one
family that sticks with me. This year, I got to meet a Norwegian medical
refugee family. The family went to Washington DC for a week’s vacation. Little
did they know that their son had Leigh’s disease. During his vacation, he had nine
(!) mitochondrial strokes and ended up in the hospital for five long months.
The family lived in the hospital with their suitcases as their son was fighting
for his life. Two years later, they are still living in Washington DC. Their
son is too sick to get on a plane to Norway. His only chance of survival was
for the family to stay put in Washington DC. They had to beg the Norwegian
government to move the dad’s job to DC, so they could continue a life as
medical refugees far away from home. This hit close to home knowing what a
cultural difference it is between Scandinavia and the US. It also sort of
exemplifies the Mito monster. You just never know when a Mito kid will crash
and get so very sick.
My favorite part of the conference is doctors and parents
interacting throughout the whole conference. We all share the passion of Mito.
Our own Belgium Mito doc finds us at every lunch and dinner.
Colorado crew and our Belgium doctor
Happy hour with NIH and MitoAction
I always make sure
to talk to my dear Mito neurologist out of Seattle. I met him the first time at
the UMDF Symposium in 2008. I knew he was good the first time I heard him talk.
After his speech, parents lined up outside the meeting room to get answers to
their questions. I did the same because I had a million and one questions. I
remember telling him about Jacob’s irregular heart rate while sleeping, and him
telling me my son had to be seen by a cardiologist and what specific tests
should be ordered for Jacob. It was a sense of urgency I hadn’t received from
any other doctor when it came to Jacob’s heart. Hours later, another Mito mom
and I were heading back to the airport. Dr. Saneto was also waiting for a cab. He
promised to share a cab with us as long as we didn’t ask any medical questions.
Of course the whole way to the airport was about our kids.
Our own parent Sebastien Cotte and Dr. Saneto did a fabulous job presenting about medical marijuana and its' benefits to mitochondrial disease.
Fast forward five years, and I sat across him in California
for my second UMDF Symposium. He said: “we shared a cab together, didn’t we?
Your son is seen by Dr. C. How is he doing?” He challenged the seizure
medications Jacob was on, and gave me advice on what cards I could play with.
He wasn’t comfortable with me trying medical marijuana for Jacob’s seizures
that year. Last year, he left me with the to-do to research medical marijuana
and specifically CBD for my son. Charlotte’s web (http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/07/health/charlotte-child-medical-marijuana/)
was something we all wanted for our kids by then. He told me specifically what
labs we had to run and monitor, since one of Jacob’s current seizure
medications can interfere with CBD. It took us about half a year to get our act
together between getting Jacob’s red card, get off the wait list to access Charlotte’s
web, and to find a time when Jacob was stable enough. We were in awe how his
myoclonus almost completely disappeared within a few days. Unfortunately,
Jacob’s first attempt with CBD was short lived. We stopped it after 5 days due
to Jacob being septic and possibly having pancreatitis. We were told CBD could
cause the inflammation of his pancreas. After confirming there was no link
between Jacob’s increased lipase and CBD, we started it up again this spring. His
pancreas is fine, his myoclonus is almost gone once again. I can hold Jacob’s
hand and not feel it shaking all the time. But Jacob’s labs are out of whack.
The one seizure medication is interfering with CBD. Today, I once again sat
across the table from Dr. Saneto. We reviewed Jacob’s labs and we once again
have a plan in place. We will communicate via email and run labs via
Children’s. This is priceless. I can’t travel with Jacob across the country to
meet with Mito specialists. This conference has given me the opportunity to get
top notch medical advice specifically for Jacob. It’s simply priceless.
The flight home was disastrous. I don’t know how many times
we were supposed to take off, and instead we ended up in a storm watch! We
ended up sitting in the plane for nine long hours…It was plenty of time to talk
Miracles for Mito and plan out what’s coming next. Stay tuned!
Judi and I wanting to come home!
To Miracles! Love, Maria.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
DOMUS PACIS
Domus Pacis is Latin for House of Peace. Domus Pacis Respite Program is a non-profit working with cancer and other medically challenged families. The genesis for the respite program was a “girl trip to the mountains” that the founder planned and put into place with her ailing mother and two sisters. Her mother, living with lung cancer, wanted to visit the Summit County. Her mom had a week to completely forget about her illness and bask in the glory of the summer mountains. The girls had a week to laugh, cry and prepare themselves for the times ahead.
This week showed the founder the power of the mountains and the need for patients to get away for a time with their families, to forget about all the medical stuff, and enjoy and create memories together. Ten years later, the “dirt” turned into a home which was designed to host families with disabilities and the Domus Pacis Family Respite was created in memory and spirit of that “no regrets” girl trip.
This past week, Sarah and I got to be part of the Domus Pacis' family. It wasn't planned to be a girls' vacation. We had planned to go as a family. A pneumonia and hospital stay for our boy put a stop to our vacation plan. Jacob came home from the hospital on oxygen, and we had a hard time believing Jacob would do great on high altitude if he required oxygen 24/7 on Denver altitude. Jacob needs to be "as perfect as he can" to attempt the high altitude of the mountains. Joakim was also behind on work after a week in the hospital. I called the founder Duck to cancel the trip. She didn't want to hear a word about cancelling the trip. She immediately understood the need for Sarah and I to still get away, and generously opened her house for just the two of us.
The last couple of months have been really busy and full of changes. Sarah was sort of "off" when she started summer break. We were not really sure what was going on with her. The week in Breckenridge with Domus Pacis was just what we both needed. We lived in this mansion surrounded by forest. We were greeted by deer, moose, and a porcupine. We had our own space, and a beautiful patio facing the forest and mountains.
We slept like babies with absolute no traffic or neighbors surrounding us. We didn't cook. We took the day as it came, a MUCH slower pace than our daily routine at home. We had plenty of time to talk, talk, talk, laugh, laugh, laugh, and be, be, be. I also got in a fair amount of biking to get ready for Courage Classic while Sarah was sleeping. I haven't felt this relaxed in a very long time. We both didn't want to leave...
Vince and Duck who run Domus Pacis are genuinely kind people. We truly enjoyed their hospitality and company. They opened their home with open arms and made this week very special for Sarah and I. We both fell in love with their dog Bella, who instantly found Sarah's heart. The best part is that we get to go back. Both Vince and Duck still want Jacob to experience their completely handicap accessible home. We are hoping to make that happen for Jacob and the rest of us later this summer. They even want us to house sit as they go on vacation. I love when friendships arise when you least expect it.
Jacob started asking for mommy the last couple of days we were gone. He wanted mommy and said he loved me with his talker. THAT is always something worth coming home to!
Til next time,
Maria.
This week showed the founder the power of the mountains and the need for patients to get away for a time with their families, to forget about all the medical stuff, and enjoy and create memories together. Ten years later, the “dirt” turned into a home which was designed to host families with disabilities and the Domus Pacis Family Respite was created in memory and spirit of that “no regrets” girl trip.
This past week, Sarah and I got to be part of the Domus Pacis' family. It wasn't planned to be a girls' vacation. We had planned to go as a family. A pneumonia and hospital stay for our boy put a stop to our vacation plan. Jacob came home from the hospital on oxygen, and we had a hard time believing Jacob would do great on high altitude if he required oxygen 24/7 on Denver altitude. Jacob needs to be "as perfect as he can" to attempt the high altitude of the mountains. Joakim was also behind on work after a week in the hospital. I called the founder Duck to cancel the trip. She didn't want to hear a word about cancelling the trip. She immediately understood the need for Sarah and I to still get away, and generously opened her house for just the two of us.
Sarah playing with their dog Bella.
And Joakim got to join us for a day too!
Sarah and I took a beading lesson and made our own bracelets. A perfect memory from this week.
Beautiful biking in the early morning hours while Sarah was catching up on sleep.
Jacob started asking for mommy the last couple of days we were gone. He wanted mommy and said he loved me with his talker. THAT is always something worth coming home to!
Til next time,
Maria.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
MOON FACE
My cousin’s cancer is aggressive and advanced. I have not
seen her in years. The news of her cancer still hit me hard. This is my cousin
who I spent summers and holidays with, the cousin I grew up with. She is now
fighting for her life.
On Sunday, I was catching up on Facebook and just about to
put on my swim suit for the first time this year. I was dreading putting it on
as my cousin’s beautiful face was staring back at me on the phone. She was bald
and beautiful.
I completely forgot about the swim suit and how I would
look. There are more important battles in life than how swim suit 2015 will
look.
And it got me thinking about my own warrior, and Jacob’s
moon face. You get a “moon face” from using steroids over a too long period of
time. Jacob’s face is round as a moon. People point it out to me. I hear them,
but bald or moon, I just see beauty. Love is blind. The chance of Jacob’s face
losing its’ moon shape is slim. We need to wean his steroids, which will take
exactly a month if Jacob’s body agrees. He will still be on steroids, but on a
lower dose that supposedly should remove the moon from his face. After the
steroids are weaned, it will take months, yes
months, for the shape of his face to go back to normal. The chance of us
not having to once again increase steroids due to an illness seems farfetched.
His closest doctors tell me over and over again that it doesn’t matter. It’s ok
if Jacob is dependent on steroids. It keeps him alive.
And I guess that’s what I love about my cousin’s beautiful baldness
and my son’s moon face – they both breathe so much life. They are both two
incredible fighters loving life. That is beautiful to me, not the loss of hair or
the round face of my son.
To life, Maria.
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