Sunday, July 10, 2016


"I was thinking why this place is magic, and it's in the details. Everything at Magic Kingdom is so well thought through to the smallest little detail. Sarah told us that Jacob is spoiled rotten here, and that's what happens when you otherwise have to spend a lot of time in the hospital. Our girl sure understands more than I sometimes think."

This is an extract from one of my blog posts during Jacob's Make-A-Wish trip in 2009. I have enjoyed reading my old blog posts, and gosh did our boy have a rough 2009. In the middle of a very rough year where we just didn't know if our boy was going to make it, Jacob made it to Disney World twice (!) within six months. I am so happy we just decided to go for it when we were granted our Make-A-Wish trip exactly six months after our own trip to Disney. These are the things I simply not regret, and instead feel thankful for.

This last week, we decided to take Sarah to Disney World. She got to pick the park, and decided without hesitation "Magic Kingdom". We left Vero Beach early, and made it to Magic Kingdom shortly after they opened their doors. It was a really hot humid day, and we were definitely sweaty and hot throughout the day. With a teenager on board, we took full advantage of all the rides and parades in the park and enjoyed 15 hours of fun and magic. Add another four hours of driving time, and it turned into a very long, but really good day.

Sarah figured out the fast pass system, and we didn't stand in lines all day long. None of us are crazy about scary rides, and in that way, Magic Kingdom is perfect. The rides are so well done, but they are not necessarily turning your stomach inside out.

Disney has a way to make us all feel like children again. We simply had a lot of fun together, and we laughed a lot. The laughter you feel starting in your stomach, and making your face turn into a big smile. Joakim and I were sincerely happy to see Sarah just enjoy the moment, and for a day forgetting she's an only child, missing her brother, and feeling life is pretty darn unfair right now.

Being in fresh grief, I crave kindness. I don't do well with rude people or unkind words. The smallest gesture of unkindness really put me at unease. I have no protection for meanness and rudeness. In Disney, everyone is extremely friendly and will go out of their way to be kind. I ran into the Haunted Mansion gift shop to escape the heat. One of the sales people saw me, and showed me a secret spot in the store where there was an extra fan. He also showed me where the nearest restrooms were and where I could charge my phone. This is the kind of world I want to live in right now, a kind, friendly world where I don't need to make any hard, major decisions.

What I didn't expect coming out of this day is us going down memory lane with Jacob. Memory lane in a really good way. Our last true vacation with Jacob was his Make-A-Wish trip to Disney World. As we were moving through the park, we remembered the different rides we did with our boy and that he never wanted to get off the ride "It's a Small World". We remembered all the princesses we met with, Sarah with her autograph book in her hand, and Jacob deciding to not let go of Cinderella's hair. Joakim and I said multiple times we were so happy we took Jacob on this trip when he was still doing pretty well. Little did we know that Jacob would have his first true mitochondrial crash less than a month after his Make-A-Wish trip. Everything happens for a reason.

At night, we watched the Disney Parade followed by spectacular fireworks. As we were standing in the darkness surrounded by thousands of people, I just got this feeling that maybe, maybe we will be ok one day again, and in the middle of grief, we do need to find moments of happiness.

To the magic of Disney. Much love, Maria.


  1. what a beautiful post. you have such a gift for writing. this made me so happy to read, that you had some true fun with Sarah. thinking of you always!