I'M GRATEFUL FOR YOU

Dear Jacob,

I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for the beautiful ten and a half years we had together on earth. I'm grateful you were in my life, and I'm so grateful for the time we had together. I'm grateful for you teaching me what life truly is about, for teaching me about unconditional love, to never give up, and to enjoy every moment. You made me so very happy.

Gratefulness didn't come easy. Since you passed away, I have not felt grateful. Thankfulness has been clouded by grief. I have felt great sadness.I have felt anger. I have felt emptiness. I have felt loneliness. I have felt anxiety, but I didn't feel grateful. Yesterday, it came to me. In light of Thanksgiving, there is nothing I am more grateful for than being your mom for ten amazing happy life changing years. You helped me grow up, see what is truly important in life, and always advocate for the ones who can't. You gave me a purpose every day. I know I won't always feel this way, but tonight I find grace and thanks as I very much miss you.

I got a message this morning that you are doing really well and that you're happy. Somebody who took care of you has a strong sixth sense. You visited with her in her dreams. You played with her daughter, you were learning to speak, you sat up, and you were munching on a treat. You were looking really well. You sent a message about happiness, about feeling well. I cried reading the lines, but it also gave me great comfort. I think you knew I needed a sign, a message from you in light of this family holiday upon us.

Jacob, I will never forget our last Thanksgiving together. It was completely perfect. You were strong, you were healthy, you had a really good day. We were surrounded by friends we call family. We all gave thanks including you. You worked so hard on finding exactly what you wanted to tell us, and you found the perfect words: "I love you" with your talker. It was a magic moment. Everyone choked up a little. You showed us the way, and tonight I think it was one of your many parting gifts.

Thanksgiving 2015

Keep sending me your signs as well as a little of your super power strength. I will need it this holiday.

I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for your dad and your sister. I am grateful for friends & family.

Sweet Jacob, I love you to the moon and back,

mom.